It was a busy day in hell, cars were honking and people arguing. Today was a difficult day considering business for Imp is slow. Blitzo called everyone for a meeting, and they discussed improvements.
"Ok now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. And it's no one's fault I'm not naming names here, Moxxie" Blitzo said. Moxxie heard his name and made a what face. "Now does anyone have any ideas on how we can get business drumming up again" he said. "What about a car wash" Millie said excitedly. "This is hell Millie nobody cares about cars being cleaned here" Blitzo said. "Oh what about a billboard sir" Mason said. "Now that's not a bad idea" Blitzo said stroking his chin.
Moxxie rolled his eyes. "We can't afford a billboard son" he said. "Oh great Moxxie glad your in the room. "Do any of you remember what service we provide" he said grabbing TV remote. The tv turned on and it showed a video of everyone killing humans with mallets, guns, swords, and even their own teeth. Blitzo grabbed a bowl of popcorn and sat down. "Yes good times" he said. "I don't need to remind you that you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week, which then aired on a channel, nobody watches" Moxxie said.
Blitzo got up from the floor and walked across the room. "Hey what's so bad about a little jingle. Its a fun distraction when an advertisement is spitting bullshit" he said. "People love musicals, sir" Millie said. "Exactly Millie, and we're basically doing a musical" Blitzo said making hand gestures. "Are you trying to crush my musical dreams like my dad did" Blitzo said pointing at Moxxie. "Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside" he said hurting on the inside.
Millie and Mason look over at Moxxie with smug faces. "Are you trying to crush his dreams Moxxie" Millie asked. "Yeah dad are you" Mason followed. Moxxie was about to speak but was confused by his wife and son. "I thought I knew you" Millie said sticking her tongue out at him. Mason giggled. "I can't believe you Moxxie after I made you employee of the month" Blitzo said showing a picture of Moxxie as employee of the month.
Moxxie sighed and apologized. "Sir, I'm sorry but a commercial jingle is not similar to musical theater, nobody actually likes the jingles" he said. "I liked it" both Millie and Mason said. "Do not, do not agree with him in front of me" Moxxie said sternly.
"I'm just going to go off record and say that accident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target, its very simple" Moxxie said staring at Loona. Loona rolled her eyes and played on her phone. "Oh sit on a dick Moxxie" she said. Moxxie got mad and said. "You sit, sit on a, and uh, eh, Do your job!" He yelled. Blitzo went up to Loona and nuzzled her fur. "Now we don't blame our screw ups on Loona ok, she didn't do anything wrong" he said. "Are you kidding me sir, she's awful" Moxxie said.
Flashbacks
Loona was sitting down in her desk reading her newspaper named "Hellhound Monthly". The phone rang and picked it up without looking away from her newspaper. "Hello I.M.P" she said. On the other line was Millie and she sounded scared and distressed. "Loona I got stabbed, call Mox-" she was cut off by Loona hanging up the phone. Mason came in feeling concerned about the call. "Was that my mom" he asked. "No" Loona said.
Next
Blitzo was walking up to Loona with a present in her hands. "Happy adoption anniversary Loonie, I got you a little something" he said smiling. Loona didn't seem to care about Blitzo's present. "Is it a cure for syphilis" she asked. Blitzo looked confused and frowned not knowing what she wanted. "Then I don't want it!" She yelled. She took the present out of Blitzo's hands and smashed it on the ground. When the box was smashed a herd of spiders crawled their way up Loona's body. "I'm sorry it was spiders" Blitzo said outside of a window. "Goddamn it" Loona said as she let the spiders crawl all around her.
Helluva Boss (Insert OC) Moxxie and Millie's Child - Pilot (2024)
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